Ari Gold Entourage Quotes

Ari: Dana, I have never cheated on my wife, not since she became my wife, but if you wanna jerk me in the car now, I’m game.

Ari: I didn’t go to the Lakers game because they were playing the fucking Bobcats… And I came here today because I thought this was a session on how my wife could learn to communicate, how to answer a question without a question, basic Humanity 101, which I thought, given your wall of fucking diplomas, you could easily fix, or if you couldn’t, you could give her a pill that would either fix it or make her a mute. But now, to turn around and gang up on me? I have work to do. I have hundreds of clients to deal with, and just so we’re clear, I don’t care about ANY OF THEM. They’re ALL just a number, like Wife #1 and Therapist #7… GOOD DAY!

Ari: Tell Drama he’s on the top of my list of things to do today, along with inserting needles in my cock!

Ari: That was a good speech, Lloyd. If I was 25 and liked cock, we could be something.

Emily: Ari, I really don’t want to get in the middle of this.
Ari: You are in the middle of this, whether you like it or not. Okay? You wanna be a hero? You want a medal, or are you a coward? (Emily walks away)
Ari: Knock off the hippie shit, strap on a helmet, and start shooting. This is Malibu, Emily, I want you to storm that beach like it’s fuckin’ Normandy!

Ari (passing a somewhat older woman that’s jogging): Got Milf?

Mrs. Ari: What’s in the bag?
Ari: A kilo of blow. What’s with all the fucking questions?

(Mrs. Ari suggests that Ari is afraid of Terrence)
Ari: I’ll beat that old fuck and throw him in the pool.
(To his kids:) Only Daddy speaks that way!

Ari: We are gonna get drunk with Russell Crowe and we’re gonna head-butt some goddamn kangaroos.

(Ari mistakes a mail boy for an assistant)
Ari: Well, what is it you’re supposed to know, do you think? What the fuck do we pay you for? To get your agency card laminated so you can go to Shelter and try to fuck Mischa Barton?
Mail boy: I didn’t… I didn’t think…
Ari: Let me tell you something. You don’t have to say anything, you know why? Cause you pick up all your stuff, because you’re mother-fucking fired!