Ari: Would you look at this.
Lloyd: This is so exciting, it is like when the Warriors got back together at the end of the movie.
Ari: Don’t tell me you wack off to the Warriors. (Turning to the boys): There they are. A movie star and a TV star, all in one family. Who would have thunk it?
Episode : 18 - The Resurrection

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(Drama is affraid his show doesn’t get picked up)
Ari: Drama, it’s NBC, they gave Joey 46 episoded… they don’t cancel shit. Trust me!
Episode : 18 - The Resurrection

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Ari (on Medillon): Let’s just talk reasonably, OK? Sometimes, things aren’t just meant to be. Sometimes, no matter how bad you want something, you gotta let it go. Senior year, all right, I was obsessed with Katie Sherman, the most insane tits.. Anyway, the moment I found out she gave half the football team crabs, it was done. Never thought about it again.
E: You’re saying Medillon has crabs, Ari?
Ari: Medillon has crabs, gonorrhea, syfillus, it is an untreatable super germ.
Episode : 18 - The Resurrection

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Ari: Joe, what are you doing to me?
Joe: I’m not doing anything Ari, I’m just doing good business.
Ari: That’s weird because it feels like you’re taking a steel catheter and shoving it right up my cock.
Episode : 18 - The Resurrection

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(Ari wants Vince to do Metahorn)
Vince: We were never into it.
Ari: That’s the thing.. the script has been changed more times than Andy Dick’s vibrator.
Episode : 18 - The Resurrection

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Ari (on Medillon): The movie is yours. You got it for five million dollars. The studio is in it for more that amount but they’re gonna settle. All right? Congratulations, you’re the proud owner of a 150 PIECES OF PAPER! Yeah daddy!
Episode : 18 - The Resurrection

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